Hi journal,
I've decided to write here because I use this blog so little.
Well I'm down to my last two weeks in Arlington, Virginia. The internship has been really great.
I hope to pass the FSOT exam in February. I still have second thoughts about becoming a foreign service officer. Sometimes I feel like my body needs to catch up to the reality of my life.
But I've been so good at avoiding emotions and keeping myself emotionally neutral that I feel... incomplete. I often wonder if there is something wrong with me? I've been depriving myself of genuine emotions for such a long time, that I don't know how or what to feel at times.
Maybe I'm complaining about nothing and my remedy is all too easy. Namely falling in love, having sex, and simply living in the moment and letting go of fear. Perhaps that's all that I need to feel like "myself."
I keep on having memories of being abroad. I wonder if the memories mean something? I just remembered being in Grenoble and looking out upon the mountains. I'm still debating if I shouldn't return to mainland France and wait to experience a tropical climate if I'm accepted for the Peace Corps?
Oh, man... I'm also a little tenuous about my trip back to Georgia on Greyhound. I have faith in Greyhound, but it may be too little since I haven't traveled with them in four years. This will definitely be a hallmark trip.
Well, Journal, I'm signing off.
Cheers,
Aaron
I've decided to write here because I use this blog so little.
Well I'm down to my last two weeks in Arlington, Virginia. The internship has been really great.
I hope to pass the FSOT exam in February. I still have second thoughts about becoming a foreign service officer. Sometimes I feel like my body needs to catch up to the reality of my life.
But I've been so good at avoiding emotions and keeping myself emotionally neutral that I feel... incomplete. I often wonder if there is something wrong with me? I've been depriving myself of genuine emotions for such a long time, that I don't know how or what to feel at times.
Maybe I'm complaining about nothing and my remedy is all too easy. Namely falling in love, having sex, and simply living in the moment and letting go of fear. Perhaps that's all that I need to feel like "myself."
I keep on having memories of being abroad. I wonder if the memories mean something? I just remembered being in Grenoble and looking out upon the mountains. I'm still debating if I shouldn't return to mainland France and wait to experience a tropical climate if I'm accepted for the Peace Corps?
Oh, man... I'm also a little tenuous about my trip back to Georgia on Greyhound. I have faith in Greyhound, but it may be too little since I haven't traveled with them in four years. This will definitely be a hallmark trip.
Well, Journal, I'm signing off.
Cheers,
Aaron
